Long time, no see

Well now it really has been a while since I updated this. I just haven't had the time!! Seth went from sleeping like the proverbial angel to driving me insane! 45 minute naps all day, every day. Settling him to sleep was hell too. I was always rocking the cot, patting his tummy, turning him on his side and patting his back, stroking his head, letting him fall asleep feeding or on me. Hell I tell you!

My mum was my saviour, even with all her faults and everything about her that irritates me so much, she has been invaluable to me over the past few months. She called for help, Plunket help, and they were actually very helpful. Shh but the area coordinator gave us a little booklet of advice which has changed our live now, for the better! It's not Plunket endorsed so really they can't hand it out but mum and I were SERIOUSLY desperate.

So now after putting the advice in the booklet into practice, Seth is now going down to sleeps a LOT easier, I put him down, tuck him in and walk away. He's still only sleeping for 45 minutes at a time but I can deal with it a lot better now. It's even better that in the past few weeks he's been sleeping for longer and longer during the night. He's now sleeping from between 7 and 8 pm until between 5 and 8 am. It's so cool, I actually get to sleep. Now what is sleep again?

Seth is now fully formula fed due to my supply reaching a maximum of 80mls at a feed while Seth was taking more than twice that amount, medication for my PND when I was diagnosed (yeah I have PND, will talk about that later), and Seth not gaining weight as he should have been. Things have been going pretty well here since I decided to wean, yes wean not just go cold turkey. I managed to do it with nearly no engorgement. I still have a small supply if I try to hand express, it'll still shoot across the room, but that will eventually fade, probably. Seth has taken the transition pretty well though he still turns to my breast at times and will try to feed even though there is clothing in the way. Makes for lovely slobber patches. I still give him breast occasionally if he's really frantic for a feed, though he pops on and off so he barely gets anything.

PND. Ah yes, postnatal depression/distress. I think it started slowly with just little things, having to settle Seth to sleep every. single. sleep. His screaming in my ears as I did so. The frustration at not being able to fully breastfeed like I wanted and expected to. Little things that built up until I was screaming at him to shut up and go to sleep. Slamming my fist into a wall so I wouldn't do something I would later regret. Banging my head against a wall for similar reasons. I would get SO angry that he wasn't sleeping, that he was crying, that he wouldn't cooperate. That he wasn't doing what I wanted him to and what I thought he "Should" do.
Looking up the signs and symptoms was hard, talking to my husband about it even harder. I was put onto the Edinburgh scale by a few people I would talk to online and I scored an 18. Not as bad as it could have been but bad enough. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me some medication and I'm going to a PND support group which is really helping.
Since being on the meds things have improved hugely. I don't start screaming/crying/raging over little things anymore. If I miss a dose then the next day is bad though. I can now handle things a lot better and I feel a lot more relaxed. Most of the time anyway.

Well that's a bit of a novel so I shall leave you with that and I will certainly try to update more often.
Ciao for now.

Growth Spurt Hell

So my little munchkin has hit his 2 week growth spurt and my sanity has gone right down the drain. Since Saturday my little angel has been a screaming little mess which then turns me into a crying mess and it's a horrible cycle because I can't get him to settle which means he gets overtired and cries which upsets me and then upsets him and so on and so forth.

Today I think that either I made a bit of a breakthrough or he's settling down again. 2 feeds in a row now I've managed to get him into bed without a fuss, long may it continue! I think I was keeping him awake for far too long feeding him and so now I've started trying my best to get him fed, changed and back into bed within an hour, things seem to be looking up. 2 hours of awake time is a lot for a little baby!

Anyway, just thought I'd leave you with that little update. I'd better head to bed now before my eyes fall out! Babies are not good for the under-eye luggage!

Baby Making

So theres now 20 days until my darling fiance and I can try for another baby. Believe me, the waiting is excrutiating.

I have dabbled in the mystical arts of temperature charting, mucus observation and ovulation prediction, with poor results. I'm the person who forgets to eat breakfast until lunchtime, so I find it damn near impossible for me to remember to take my temperature every morning before I get out of bed.

I am reconsidering my stand on trying to temp, but until I actually get to the first day of my cycle, theres really no point.

For charting to work, I will need to change my entire routine basically. Currently, I go to bed and go to sleep whenever I feel tired. Whether that be 9pm or 2am, it doesnt matter. Theres no routine to it. I must make a routine. And actually stick to it...

So for now, until I can find the willpower to make a routine and actually stick to it, the baby making plan is just have sex when we feel like it, as often as we feel like it, until we either get sick of having sex (yeah, like thats going to happen), or until I get pregnant. Lets hope it doesnt take me very long to get preganant.