Long time, no see

Well now it really has been a while since I updated this. I just haven't had the time!! Seth went from sleeping like the proverbial angel to driving me insane! 45 minute naps all day, every day. Settling him to sleep was hell too. I was always rocking the cot, patting his tummy, turning him on his side and patting his back, stroking his head, letting him fall asleep feeding or on me. Hell I tell you!

My mum was my saviour, even with all her faults and everything about her that irritates me so much, she has been invaluable to me over the past few months. She called for help, Plunket help, and they were actually very helpful. Shh but the area coordinator gave us a little booklet of advice which has changed our live now, for the better! It's not Plunket endorsed so really they can't hand it out but mum and I were SERIOUSLY desperate.

So now after putting the advice in the booklet into practice, Seth is now going down to sleeps a LOT easier, I put him down, tuck him in and walk away. He's still only sleeping for 45 minutes at a time but I can deal with it a lot better now. It's even better that in the past few weeks he's been sleeping for longer and longer during the night. He's now sleeping from between 7 and 8 pm until between 5 and 8 am. It's so cool, I actually get to sleep. Now what is sleep again?

Seth is now fully formula fed due to my supply reaching a maximum of 80mls at a feed while Seth was taking more than twice that amount, medication for my PND when I was diagnosed (yeah I have PND, will talk about that later), and Seth not gaining weight as he should have been. Things have been going pretty well here since I decided to wean, yes wean not just go cold turkey. I managed to do it with nearly no engorgement. I still have a small supply if I try to hand express, it'll still shoot across the room, but that will eventually fade, probably. Seth has taken the transition pretty well though he still turns to my breast at times and will try to feed even though there is clothing in the way. Makes for lovely slobber patches. I still give him breast occasionally if he's really frantic for a feed, though he pops on and off so he barely gets anything.

PND. Ah yes, postnatal depression/distress. I think it started slowly with just little things, having to settle Seth to sleep every. single. sleep. His screaming in my ears as I did so. The frustration at not being able to fully breastfeed like I wanted and expected to. Little things that built up until I was screaming at him to shut up and go to sleep. Slamming my fist into a wall so I wouldn't do something I would later regret. Banging my head against a wall for similar reasons. I would get SO angry that he wasn't sleeping, that he was crying, that he wouldn't cooperate. That he wasn't doing what I wanted him to and what I thought he "Should" do.
Looking up the signs and symptoms was hard, talking to my husband about it even harder. I was put onto the Edinburgh scale by a few people I would talk to online and I scored an 18. Not as bad as it could have been but bad enough. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me some medication and I'm going to a PND support group which is really helping.
Since being on the meds things have improved hugely. I don't start screaming/crying/raging over little things anymore. If I miss a dose then the next day is bad though. I can now handle things a lot better and I feel a lot more relaxed. Most of the time anyway.

Well that's a bit of a novel so I shall leave you with that and I will certainly try to update more often.
Ciao for now.

Dramas!

Well this morning I had a bit of a scare. I thought I had sprung a leak.
The man thing was out and I was alone to over think things.
The good news is I was poked, prodded, swabbed, sampled, measured, listened to, scanned and deemed perfectly ok. It's thought that I either peed myself without noticing, or the regular discharges down there had a flooding good time.
I rang the man thing before I headed off to the hospital and he came zooming into town and met me there. I hadn't told him what was up over the phone so he was worried as hell, wondering what was going on. In hindsight I really should have told him what was happening...

Well since we've been home (several hours now) I've hit the slump after all the adrenaline. All I want to do now is crash out and sleep for a while! If I didnt have a bouncy little jumping bean using my bladder as a trampoline then I might be able to get some sleep lol. I love feeling the movements, really, they're just so strong already!

In the know

I like having friends in high places. Like doctors, or at least med students. They may not be fully qualified but they have some idea on what they're talking about. They can also talk to other doctors and get information that normally isnt shared, like which doctors are complete dickwads (I'd figured one out by myself but got a heads up on another one) and the after appointment chats with specialists that arent generally shared with the patient in question.

I am very thankful that my lovely med student is such an awesome guy, who I will be very glad to keep in contact with hopefully for years to come. It's nice to know someone who can give it to me straight, and who I can have a conversation with over pizza about hormonal contraceptives lol.

So I thank James for his wonderful insights into the world of the doctor, and I thank him for his advice over whether to file a complaint over a truly horrible doctor or not.

Thanks James!