Defensiveness and Breastmilk

I came across a rather interesting conversation on a friends Facebook wall about Breast Milk donation and Milk Banks and how people feel about them. There was the usual happy conversation about how some would have been happy to donate or make use of donated milk, screening for drugs and illnesses was also briefly touched upon, and there were a few women who quite openly, honestly and plainly stated that they would prefer to use formula over breast milk that was not theirs.

Then there was the one woman who seemed to take every comment FOR breastfeeding and using/donating to milk banks as a personal attack on her and her choices.
She's unlikely to ever read this, I don't even know her myself, have never seen her name before today but I still have to say this.

Honey, it's not about you.

Yeah, that probably sounds really patronising (apologies) but I have to say if she's feeling that defensive about it, especially when there was absolutely NO formula-bashing going on, then she should realise and own her guilty feelings and try to move past them, rather than over-reacting and abusing women who were having a perfectly civil discussion about Milk Banks and Breast Milk donation.

Now, I know absolutely nothing about this person other than she decided to formula feed her child/ren, and from what I could pick up it was because she couldn't breastfeed. I make no judgements about her or her experiences, I don't know if she's had people look down on her or what for formula feeding but as one of the other participants in the conversation said;

"No one can make you feel bad about formula feeding either, you make a choice and if you are happy with your choice then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks."

I agree with this fully.

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Now, I'm going to leave the above as it is and talk about how I personally feel about breastfeeding, formula and milk-banks.

I'm planning on breastfeeding. For as long as I can, preferably 18 months but if bubs decides to wean prior to that then I can hardly force feed him now can I.

As for the whole Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding debate (which I think is ridiculous to be honest) yes I fully support breastfeeding and I DO think it's best, I also fully agree that for those who either cannot breastfeed for some reason or choose not to, formula is there for them to use. To add another dimension, I also think that a milk bank would be a very good idea for those who cant/choose not to breastfeed but still want their child/ren to have breast milk. Why should it be all or nothing?

I would gladly donate to a milk bank, I even thought about it after I lost my son Antony and had furiously leaking boobs, I just didn't know how to go about it and I wasn't in the right frame of mind to try to figure it out at the time. Once this one is born I would be quite happy to donate any excess.

I would not force parents to make use of donated milk if it didn't sit right with them for any reason. I get that some people feel squeamish about another persons milk being used to feed THEIR child. I get that some people think that the entire idea is silly and that that's why we have formula. I get that some people will worry about the screening any milk would have to undergo, and about any possible allergens from the donaters diet. Simply put, I get that it's not for everyone but shouldn't it be a viable option for those who would like to make use of it?

Pretty much to me it boils down to I don't care which method you choose to use to feed your child, whether it be breast, bottle or whatever, as long as the child is fed adequately and loved, that's all that really matters.

Don't beat yourself up about it!

(I apologise for the rambliness, it's 3am and I just HAD to write something about this)