Tomorrow I will be at the same gestation as I was when I lost my first son Antony. Understandably this is making mama bear a bit on the worried side. Subconsiously more than anything else. I've avoided sitting down and consiously worrying about it happening again because I cant see the point in stressing myself out over something that is out of my control. Seems my subconsious has been doing the worrying for me.
So far I've had 2 nights of seriously crappy sleep. The night of 20w4d, which is the day that I had the anatomy scan with Antony that suggested there could be a problem with my cervix, and last night 21w, which was the night before I was admitted into hospital to await progress.
Well, the good news is I'm not in hospital so things are definately different this time.
Umm, bad news... I dont think I have any at this stage, and I bloody well hope it stays that way.
Tomorrow I will be lighting a candle for my lost son, to remember the short time that he was with us and to celebrate him becoming a big brother. So sad that he isn't here with us now...
I am so glad you didn't say there was bad news.
ReplyDeleteGosh i'm covered in goose bumps now.
You are such a strong woman. Keep up the great work, hope you are sleeping better now (well as good as you can when your pregnant)
Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteSleep hasnt been too bad now that I've passed that anniversary. Well, apart from the weather lately making sleeping within 5 feet of someone else a sticky experience.